Forget the Owls
by Shinobi Saru Corp
Summary: OWL POST! OWL POST! Forget the owls. Welcome to Hogwarts Student's Only Chat Room!
1. Part one

Written by Tora

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What if the Marauders used a chatroom? It's been done several times, but each one is different. Hope you enjoy.

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_The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star* has logged in_

_Romulus and Remus has logged in_

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: The Quidditch Star looks at Romulus and Remus's name and realizes it's his best friend! "Remus!" he cries out loud.

Romulus and Remus: Prongs…?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: The Quidditch Star raises his eyebrow, even though Remus can't see it. "Prongs? Who is this Prongs?" he questions Remus.

Romulus and Remus: What's with the little asterisk? And why are you talking in third person, Prongs?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: The Awesome Star is shocked! He shouts back with dignity, "It's not an asterisk, it's a star, you doofus! You know, Quidditch _star_?!"

Romulus and Remus: Looks like an asterisk to me.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: The Star is silent.

Romulus and Remus: You're not being quiet…

_BlackKnight has logged in_

BlackKnight: Sup.

Romulus and Remus: Hi, Padfoot.

BlackKnight: How did you know it was me? What if it was my little bro?

Romulus and Remus: Because your little bro doesn't say 'sup'.

BlackKnight: Point.

_Red_Riding_hood has logged in_

BlackKnight: Who is Red?

Red_Riding_Hood: Crap, I'm leaving.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: The Star automatically thinks of red hair! And the one true love of his life! _Evans_!

Red_Riding_Hood: Potter… what's with the stupid asterisk?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: "It's not an asterisk!" He cries aloud in anguish.

Red_Riding_Hood: Why… are you talking in third person? Wait—never mind, I don't want to know. I'm leaving.

_Red_Riding_Hood Has logged off_

_S.N.A.P.E. has logged in_

S.N.A.P.E.: Is Lily on?

BlackKnight: You just missed her, Snivellus. Looks like she's not here to protect you.

S.N.A.P.E.: I don't need any protecting from her, Black.

Romulus and Remus: What do you think that Snape stands for?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Slimy Nut… umm… annoy… p… what would p stand for? Ah, Slimy Nut Annoy Pooper Ew.

Romulus and Remus: That doesn't make sense, James.

BlackKnight: Ooo, he got you there, Prongs!

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: I'M NOT PRONG! I'M NOT PRONGS! LOOK AT MY NAME!

_EarthWorm has logged in_

EarthWorm: Hiya everyone! I was wondering if someone would PM me the answers to problem five on the potions test.

BlackKnight: Peter…

EarthWorm: OH CRAP! HI GUYS! Umm… I didn't really mean it.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Okay hang on, I give up third person.

Romulus and Remus: Thank Merlin.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: EarthWorm, I know the answer.

EarthWorm: Great! Give me a Pm!

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Noooopeee… not unless you get Evans back onto the chat site for Hogwarts Students.

EarthWorm: Okay! Bye!

_EarthWorm has logged off_

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Wow, I didn't think he was that desperate.

S.N.A.P.E.: NOT IF I GET TO HER FIRST!

_S.N.A.P.E._ _has logged off_

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Let's go hunt Snape! Quickly!

BlackKnight: Sounds good to me. Let's go.

_Black Knight has logged off_

_The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star* has logged off_

Romulus and Remus: Wait… I don't… aww phooey…

_Romulus and Remus has logged off_

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A/N: I hope to continue this. It's not really a story, just a bunch of funny chats through my head and that I'd think would be funny. So I hope you stay tuned and if you ever feel the need to have a light read, to come here! Cuz this is where I write when I want something light to write!


	2. Part two

Written by Tora

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_Part two_

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Remus Lupin didn't think he'd ever go back to the chat room. What if more people started going on and his friends started being stupid again? Eek—what if the other students realized it was his friends?!

Remus dared to go back on. He wondered if he could change his name though.

As Remus flipped opened his laptop, and clicked a new tab for the chat room, and signed in, he realized it wouldn't let him change his name!

Noooo, now Remus really was going to have to suffer! I mean—it said his name! Curses… Remus wished he had changed his name. He was going to be SOOO embarrassed…

_Romulus and Remus has logged in_

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Wait, so is your name Golly, Olly, or Molly?

Romulus and Remus: Huh?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Oh, hiya, Remus! I was just asking Golly_Olly_Molly what her real name was.

Golly_Olly_Molly: Just how think is your skull?!

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: So is it Golly?

Romulus and Remus: Prongs…

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Or is your name Olly?

Romulus and Remus: Prongs—stop being a dorkus…

Golly_Olly_Molly: What he said. Stop being a dorkus maximus.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: No no, he said to stop being a dorkus. Not a dorkus maximus.

_Pop Goes the Weasley has logged in_

Golly_Olly_Molly: ARTHURRR!

Pop Goes the Weasley: Molly!

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: I guessed her name, Remus!

Romulus and Remus: *Facepalm*

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Remus… why do you have stars at start and end of facepalm?

Romulus and Remus: It's an asterisk…

Pop Goes the Weasley: Who is The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: You forgot the star!

Pop Goes the Weasley: It's… an asterisk, I think…

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: It's a STAR YOU DORKUS!

Remus watched the chat go on for several minutes, as his friend became more and more stupid. Remus wondered why James was being this stupid! James was a smart guy! Until it came to how to deal with people…

Somewhere in there, Sirius also joined the fray. And Lucius Malfoy.

_Draco Malfoy has logged in_

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Who the heck is Draco? Some… brother Lucius hasn't mentioned to us?

Draco Malfoy: Draco is the name I am going to name my son, stupid.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Draco… you Blacks really are hitting it with the consolation names, eh?

BlackKnight: Sumthing wrong with that?

BlackKnight: Crap, stupid typo. I mean *something.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: AHAHAHAHA! SIRIUS MADE A TYPO! SIRIUS THE PERFECT MADE A TYPO! AHAHAHAHAHAHA :'D

Draco Malfoy: What… is… your problem, Potter :-(

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Awww, you all sad? Here lemme give you a hug… ('_')

Draco Malfoy: Ew, get away you filthy—oh wait you're not a m**dbl**d.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: What's with all the stars?

Romulus and Remus: The profanity filters are on I think. See? M**dbl**d.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: YOU JUST TYPED IN THE WORD! SHAME ON YOU!

Romulus and Remus: Shut your piehole.

Draco Malfoy: *Smirks* Yeah, Potter, shut your piehole.

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: WUUT?! U SHUT UR PIEHOLE AND YOUR WOLFHOLE!

BlackKnight: Isn't Pop goes the weasel kinda disturbing?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: Because it's about a weasel going pop?

BlackKnight: yeah. It's kinda gross.

Draco Malfoy: Sooo... that means Weasley will go pop? maybe?

The_Awesome_Quidditch_Star*: OOOO let's see if he can go pop!

Remus decided it was probably best he leave. This was getting seriously embarrassing. And everyone knew who he was too! And who is friends were! And his friends were being total fools! Potions was in fine minutes. And the potion master wasn't very forgiving. Remus slammed the computer down and got up.

Next time he was on there, he'd find a way to hack it. And change his name…

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So apparently I was "breaking the rules" a _little_ by having it in format chat, with 'not much of a story plot'. So this time I added more of a plot, and hope to have Remus hack the site, and change everyone's name. Bwahahaha, go Remus.


End file.
